Paper Stars.

i couldn’t stop staring at the wrinkles in your forehead
every time your laugh echoed through the room
and i wonder: what are you laughing at?
who are you laughing with?
are you happy now that i’m gone?
 
the love between us that tore apart our skin
and sewed them together
like a promise of forever
 
the way the autumn sky reflected off your cheeks
like sunlight on a dusty mirror
both seem like lucid memories
 
but whenever i see you, there’s always a glimmer of hope
of your return
i’m hopelessly waltzing with these fantasies in my head
of one day, waking up from this nightmare
and seeing you in my arms again
 
i remember you telling me paper stars were childish
as your head gently rolled side to side
your eyes caressing the dull ceiling above us
but everyday i find myself routinely orienting their pattern
to keep these hands busy
 
because this might be the end
and these silly stars might just be
all that’s left of you in me